Top 5 lithuanian vodkas

It was of course only a matter of time. A test of Lithuanian vodka was inevitable, at least so that I myself would know which brands are good and which are a waste of Litas. One would think that it would only be necessary to do such a test once, but as a scientist I know the value of restesting your earlier findings frequently in order to prove their validity. So I will conduct this test once a year. Here is the top five list for 2014:

#1 Stumbras

The key word when it comes to Stumbras is pure. I have no idea whether it is in fact pure or not, but it tastes like pure and that is the main point. The texture is smooth like drinking water and it has no intrusive tastes of sugar and impurities. The bottle is also impressive, making the 1 litre appear larger than it actually is. Why some other testers give a better rating to stronger spirits is beyond me. This is the best Lithuanian vodka by far.

Your average drunkard would probably not like to pay extra for the novelty of having some grain in his bottle, so the one in the picture is most likely aimed at people buying gifts.

Rating: A drink for the gods

#2 Lithuanian vodka/Lietuviška Degtinė

A smooth, almost sweet tasting vodka with no bitter aftertaste. Works well in coctails, since it does not give an intrusive taste when mixed. And by the way, a small side test revealed that very little distinguishes Golden Lithuanian Vodka from ordinary Red Label Lithuanian Vodka. But yet again a bottle with the reassuring gold medals on the label. A bit worrying that it only won four, and by the way what international committee issues such medals anyway? Where do the international vodka championships take place, and why are those competitions never on Eurosport? Who are the athletes?





Distributer photo. It was better than mine.

Judging from the predominantly English text on the bottle, this seems to be a product largely aimed foreigners.  This leads me to suspect that it is either overpriced or in some other way unfit for the Lithuanian market. If the label is in English, then most Lithuanians probably drink something else. The answer to this remains unclear. The label further boasts that the vodka is silver filtered. I have no idea what that really means, but I have sincere doubts as to whether there are any "silver filtering standards". Silver filtering on the whole is new to me as a selling point. Most vodkas would come a long way if they were exposed to a simple coal filter. But filters aside, this one is a good choice.

Rating: More like a drink for the demigods

#3 Bajoru

 

The name gives expectations, but those are never really met. It reflects on the now long gone Lithuanian aristocracy, and thereby gives an impression that this is a product that they would have enjoyed. In this assumption, the manufacturers are probably right, since the the quality of vodka at the time of the bajors were such that even the worst of todays vodkas would have been considered a treat. By todays standards however, this vodka is not fit for a nobleman. In fact, it is barely fit for a man.

 

 It is also clear that the bottle is not made to impress anyone. The label might have the the obligatory ancient medals and information that the distiller has been making this brand since well before Smetonas times. However, just because some company has been making some product for a long time, it does not necessarily make the product good. Take MacDonalds as an example. They have been making unremarkable fries for generations, and they are still not getting any better. The only reason people buy them is for the price. This is perhaps also the case for Bajor Vodka. Although it plays successfully on the history of the nation it does give a sort of sour taste and dentist like feeling to the tongue. People from Trøndelag would probably love it in their coffee, but for the rest of is I think we can safely say that this is mid-range quality.  

Rating: Drinkable
 

#4 Svogeris

The name appeled to me instantly, since Svogeris is Lithuanian for brother in law. This must be one of the most original brand names in the spirits world, and as it turns out also one of the more appropriate ones. After all, a brother in law is not a real brother and Svogeris is not a real vodka. It does however share many characteristics with vodka, but has very few similarities when it comes to taste. This thing tastes more like something someone made in the barn. Without experience. In the dark.

I threw away the bottle, so sadly there is no picture.  

Rating: Possibly mislabelled moonshine

#5 Balta Degtine

Although not strictly a Lithuanian manufactured Vodka, this drink is still somewhat a Lithuanian phenomenon. Sold in little plastic containers, similar to those used for yoghurt for children, but placed appropriately alongside the bigger bottles of vodka. Catering to the needs of those looking for a quick, disposable shot of vodka.

And these customers are apparently not picky when it comes to taste, since this is one of the worst vodkas I have ever tasted. And I come from a rural part of Norway where moonshining was considered more as a hobby rather than a fine art, and can consequently tell the difference between bad vodka and terrible vodka. This one was terribe. 

Rating: Toxic waste