The worst hotel in Lithuania

It is now official, everyone can stop searching, I have finally found the worst hotel in Lithuania. And rather surprisingly it is located in what is perhaps the best place in the entire country; the old Curonian fishing village of Juodkrante. For several years I have been spending parts of summers in Juodkrante, in which this hotel in commonly considered the most luxurious. This year we decided to finally try the allegedly luxurious hotel Azuolynas, and it was an utter disappointment.





The Azuolynas hotel in Juodkrante. My biggest disappointment when it comes to Lituanian hotels so far.

This hotel is overpriced by at least 50%. Nowhere near the 130 Euros we spent went in to producing the product we received, and I can only assume that this is due either poor management or cynical owners trying to squeeze as much quick cash from their investment as possible. Service was at times so bad that if a blind man was to visit, he would have no idea that he was in a so-called “luxury hotel”.



The water slide. If you pay them extra they might just put water in it.

The reason for this is that everything seems to be pretend at Azoulynas. They pretend that they speak English, even though they clearly don`t. The “Restaurant pirmininkas” in particular pretends to understand you. You can ask her questions and she will answer you, but the truthfulness is on the level of comical Ali.

They also pretend to have “free Wi-Fi for all hotel guests” at Azuolynas. Well, it was free all right, but signals only reached as far as the lobby and even there they were quite bad. That taken into consideration, a more correct slogan would be “Free Wi-Fi for all guests who are born without concept of time and willing to restrict their internet activities to the lobby area”.







A picture from another Lithuanian hotel that actually manages to deliver decent Internet access

They even pretend that there are TV signals in the cable connected to the TV in your room at Azuolynas, despite the fact that the TV quite clearly states (in English, that is) “No signal”. Instead, they view such incidents as some kind of divine intervention beyond both their control and their responsibility. Dysfunctional TVs are on the other hand not uncommonly defined as the visitors own problem in Lithuania, but not at hotels in this price range.

Not to mention the seemingly insignificant fact that they pretend to have minibars in the rooms at Azuolynas. This is at least the impression you get from pictures advertising rooms on the internet, and in a way this claim is correct – they do have minibars, it`s just that there is nothing in them! And if you are visiting with a small child, who after feeling sick all day and not eating suddenly demands food after 22.00, an equipped minibar can be quite useful. We found ourselves in such a situation at Azuolynas, and quickly learned these facts:

• The minibar is just for show
• The hotel restaurant closes at 22:00, even if the employees claimed it is open until 24:00
• There is no food what so ever on sale anywhere in the village after 22:00
• If you ask the hotel staff for food for your sick and hungry child after 22:00, you will merely be told that breakfast starts at 07:00  

One would think that these staff members are turning away in shame,
 but they are infact just busy ignoring you

In my opinion, this takes lack of service to new heights. There is already an attraction in Lithuania commonly labeled “Stalin land”, but I fear that characteristic is somewhat misplaced. It would be more appropriate for the hotel that deliberately starves its guests. I even had to argue to get my hand on a butter knife from the unfriendly staff that were busy preparing breakfast for the next morning, so that I could slice the food I had brought myself. I always come prepared for the worst, and at Azuolynas I certainly got confirmation that this is a correct attitude. Even when staying at allegedly luxury hotels.



Don`t get me wrong - the food here is good if you can get it.
The problem is that you can`t anways get it.

I have been coming to this country regularly for a decade, and this is the biggest rip-off yet. That being said the food was good, once it finally arrived. Let`s hope this place will shape up eventually. They have no lack of potential. When I rate this to be the worst hotel in Lithuania, it is of course not because it is objectively the worst hotel. I am sure there are plenty of worse Places. Hotels where the toilets are clogged, the neighbours fight with knives and bottles until the wee hours of the morning, and where they serve you heppatitis with breakfast, but such establishments usually have the courtosy  to charge in accordance to quality. Azuolynas on the other hand does not. This hotel has everything going for it - great location, high end of the market, a good building, dominating market position, and an old reputation. Yet it fails, and any hotel which fails despite such advantages deserves the title of WORST HOTEL IN LITHUANIA. In my opinion, you might as well sleep on the bench across the street. At least the bench has made no promises.

Yes, the levels can really be Limited in this hotel