AirInn – the Vilnius airport hotel

What the hell happened to my favorite hotel?!? You leave your favorite hotel unattended for only a year or two, and some inconsiderate capitalists come and ruin it completely. I was recently back to my old “home away from home” in Lithuania – The Skrydis hotel. Only to discover that everything had changed, and in my opinion not to the better. All the details that made staying at this hotel an experience in itself were gone.

One thing that at least hasn`t changed is the short distance to the airport

The old name was gone and replaced with “AirInn”. Some made-up western word devoid of meaning. Why not also call it AirOut? At least that way they could have kept the two counters they had at the time when two hotels shared the same building (a somewhat typical Lithuanian phenomenon). Anyway, the national and for foreigners somewhat misplaced name “Skrydis” was better.

The Airinn lounge today - like any other hotel

The receptionist was gone. This soviet-style older woman with her reassuring uniform and lacking understanding of English nicely reminded visitors that they were indeed in Eastern Europe. Her replacements, the tanned young women with their fluent English, almost make you feel at home, and this to me is not really a big point when I go on holiday. If I had wanted to feel at home, I would have stayed at home. After all, I was already there to begin with.

They even installed a lavish fish tank

The breakfast chef, if I can call him that, was gone. My reluctance to call him a chef is connected to the fact that I somewhat doubt whether he had any formal training at all. And since I am uncertain, I might as well call him a chef. This cheeky young man would jokingly point at me with his knife before taking my order and say “I know you”, before going back to flirting with the bored waitresses and composing a breakfast plate that could insult even a fasting monk. The kitchen staff they have today probably wouldn`t even dream of any such unexpected indiscretions. They seemed mostly preoccupied with preparing food.  

And can you imagine - free Internet access. Back in the good old days we had to fight for our Internet access 

The soviet elevators were gone. These timeless contraptions that were built to last a lifetime, at a time when obesity and intimacy issues must have been rather uncommon, used to be standard in most Lithuanian hotels but are now getting rarer and rarer as the hotels become gradually more westernized. Even this hotel got rid of its old elevator with its indestructible imitated wooden panels and the narrow doorway, which clearly sends the message that: “If you are too fat to squeeze through here, you should probably take the stairs anyway”. Now they have some boring German elevator that takes you to the second floor without reminding you that you are a mere mortal creature whose life can end at any time. I guess that`s what passes for progress these days. Next time I go back I wouldn`t be surprised if the elevator even plays music.

Ever wondered wheter you really pressed the button or not?
This was not an issue in soviet elevators

And last but not least – the low prices are gone. I used to be able to stay in this hotel for 100 Litas, but now they charge virtually the same as western hotels. This is probably due to the fact that the hotel has turned into some kind of wannabe western hotel, but that does not really justify me paying more for a lesser experience. That being said, I still strongly recommend this hotel because of its unbeatable location and the fact that traffic in Vilnius can be a real bitch in the morning. But there is no longer as much of a reason to enjoy your stay as there used to be.

Some highlights from the Vilnius airport hotel, from the time when it was the best hotel deal in the city

What is wrong with you people? Why can`t you leave your cultural heritage alone?

The best hotel in Visaginas

Well, an alternative caption could also be «The only hotel in Visagenas, but since the two are not mutually exclusive I will stick with the original one. Since the entire city has seen better days, this hotel by far covers the entire need for accommodations several times over, and consequently there has not been much interest in establishing competing hotels.

The hotel Aukstaitija - the one and only choice when in Visaginas

The hotel itself is impressive. With its monumental exterior it towers over the city, giving guests staying on the upper floors a great view of a city allegedly consisting exclusively of apartment buildings. Since the city originally was founded as a residential area for the nearby nuclear power plant, it offered a good opportunity for soviet urban planners to demonstrate what a works paradise should look like. And in such a paradise there was of course no need for any such bourgeoisie nonsense as individual houses.

From the upper floors you have an excellent view of the workers paradise

There was however a need for a monumental hotel, and this collectively owned marble was designed to show visitors just how much could be achieved when everyone worked together. And how this could be shared. The common areas of the hotel, such as the lounges, the restaurant and the reception area were all probably rather spectacular in their prime.



Are you one of those people who always complain that hotels never provide you with enough coffe cups, and that they never display them lavishly in ridiculously oversized glas cabinets? Well, in that case the Aukstaitija is the hotel for you. 

One previous visitor has described the hotel as resembling a furniture warehouse, and after visiting myself, I do see his point. The hotel in general and the rooms in particular, are rather lavishly furnished. Mostly with quite large and luxurious furniture, and to such an extent that one almost can suspect that the interiors were done by the same decorator that did Saddam Hussein`s palaces. Take this modest coffee table from my humble room for instance:



One of the more decent hotel interiors I have encountered in Lithuania.

The rooms themselves are also lavishly spaceous, at least the one I stayed in. A large bedroom with a bed that could easily have accommodated even two of the most overweight tourists imaginable, a separate kitchen and dining room for five people, and a (by Lithuanian standards) quite spacious bathroom. There was even a balcony, but that one was mostly for people who either know no fear of heights, people who have a strong belief in the craftsmanship of soviet masons, or people who do not fear death at all. Such as smokers.  

When hotel beds are so large that they even seem too big for two People,
it can sometimes make you wonder...if you are using the correctly?

I basically only have one objection to this hotel – the breakfast menu, or rather the interpretations of that menu by the kitchen staff. They will give you such options as “continental breakfast” and “English breakfast”, and even if you feel that you have a good understanding of what these terms mean – I still suggest that you ask. The answer might surprise you. In my opinion, they would be better off just naming their three breakfast options just “Nr.1, Nr.2 and Nr.3”. That would by the way also be in better keeping with the soviet traditions.




And of course, no classic walnut interior is complete without a boom-box

Seeing as how the city is rather young it has few attractions, but since Lithuania is a small country there is always something interesting in the area. Many people view nature as the main reason to visit this part of the country, while others find the city itself interesting enough. However, whether you are staying for long or just passing through – this hotel is the place to stay. After all…where else?  




If you want to seek urban solitude and find inner urban peace - this is the place to go.
Particularly off season.

The worst hotel in Lithuania

It is now official, everyone can stop searching, I have finally found the worst hotel in Lithuania. And rather surprisingly it is located in what is perhaps the best place in the entire country; the old Curonian fishing village of Juodkrante. For several years I have been spending parts of summers in Juodkrante, in which this hotel in commonly considered the most luxurious. This year we decided to finally try the allegedly luxurious hotel Azuolynas, and it was an utter disappointment.





The Azuolynas hotel in Juodkrante. My biggest disappointment when it comes to Lituanian hotels so far.

This hotel is overpriced by at least 50%. Nowhere near the 130 Euros we spent went in to producing the product we received, and I can only assume that this is due either poor management or cynical owners trying to squeeze as much quick cash from their investment as possible. Service was at times so bad that if a blind man was to visit, he would have no idea that he was in a so-called “luxury hotel”.



The water slide. If you pay them extra they might just put water in it.

The reason for this is that everything seems to be pretend at Azoulynas. They pretend that they speak English, even though they clearly don`t. The “Restaurant pirmininkas” in particular pretends to understand you. You can ask her questions and she will answer you, but the truthfulness is on the level of comical Ali.

They also pretend to have “free Wi-Fi for all hotel guests” at Azuolynas. Well, it was free all right, but signals only reached as far as the lobby and even there they were quite bad. That taken into consideration, a more correct slogan would be “Free Wi-Fi for all guests who are born without concept of time and willing to restrict their internet activities to the lobby area”.







A picture from another Lithuanian hotel that actually manages to deliver decent Internet access

They even pretend that there are TV signals in the cable connected to the TV in your room at Azuolynas, despite the fact that the TV quite clearly states (in English, that is) “No signal”. Instead, they view such incidents as some kind of divine intervention beyond both their control and their responsibility. Dysfunctional TVs are on the other hand not uncommonly defined as the visitors own problem in Lithuania, but not at hotels in this price range.

Not to mention the seemingly insignificant fact that they pretend to have minibars in the rooms at Azuolynas. This is at least the impression you get from pictures advertising rooms on the internet, and in a way this claim is correct – they do have minibars, it`s just that there is nothing in them! And if you are visiting with a small child, who after feeling sick all day and not eating suddenly demands food after 22.00, an equipped minibar can be quite useful. We found ourselves in such a situation at Azuolynas, and quickly learned these facts:

• The minibar is just for show
• The hotel restaurant closes at 22:00, even if the employees claimed it is open until 24:00
• There is no food what so ever on sale anywhere in the village after 22:00
• If you ask the hotel staff for food for your sick and hungry child after 22:00, you will merely be told that breakfast starts at 07:00  

One would think that these staff members are turning away in shame,
 but they are infact just busy ignoring you

In my opinion, this takes lack of service to new heights. There is already an attraction in Lithuania commonly labeled “Stalin land”, but I fear that characteristic is somewhat misplaced. It would be more appropriate for the hotel that deliberately starves its guests. I even had to argue to get my hand on a butter knife from the unfriendly staff that were busy preparing breakfast for the next morning, so that I could slice the food I had brought myself. I always come prepared for the worst, and at Azuolynas I certainly got confirmation that this is a correct attitude. Even when staying at allegedly luxury hotels.



Don`t get me wrong - the food here is good if you can get it.
The problem is that you can`t anways get it.

I have been coming to this country regularly for a decade, and this is the biggest rip-off yet. That being said the food was good, once it finally arrived. Let`s hope this place will shape up eventually. They have no lack of potential. When I rate this to be the worst hotel in Lithuania, it is of course not because it is objectively the worst hotel. I am sure there are plenty of worse Places. Hotels where the toilets are clogged, the neighbours fight with knives and bottles until the wee hours of the morning, and where they serve you heppatitis with breakfast, but such establishments usually have the courtosy  to charge in accordance to quality. Azuolynas on the other hand does not. This hotel has everything going for it - great location, high end of the market, a good building, dominating market position, and an old reputation. Yet it fails, and any hotel which fails despite such advantages deserves the title of WORST HOTEL IN LITHUANIA. In my opinion, you might as well sleep on the bench across the street. At least the bench has made no promises.

Yes, the levels can really be Limited in this hotel

Kaunas Airport Hotel

First of all, there is no such thing as a Kaunas Airport Hotel. I am only making this post to investigate how much of the blog traffic is generated by robots, and how much is genuine people having a look. I fear the results will be disappointing, but I will have a go anyway. Normal readers will have to bear with me. There is no such thing as a Kaunas Airport Hotel, and if anyone claims otherwise - he is a robot!




The plot on which a future small Kaunas Airport Hotel might be constructed. Or not.

You arrive at the imaginary Kaunas Airport hotel after taking a very real flight to the very real Kaunas airport. Since the hotel itself is imaginary, you need a sturdy bottle of vodka to boost the illusion of living in a hotel that isn`t really there.

 

A very real bottle of vodka. You will need one if you are to imagine an entire hotel

After sleeping a night on the imaginary bed, you might want a soothing beverage (the vodka taken into concideration). We suggest this nasty little bugger, since you are free to imagine that it tastes like nectar:

 

Airanas. Carbonated milk. The stupidest idea since oversized flase lashes.

After checking out of the Kaunas Airport Hotel, you will probably agree with us that there are no better hotels than imaginary hotels. Particularly when it comes to paying the bill. The final amount came to about one bazillion Litas, but you can clearly remember paying it all in a particularly vivid dream. How can any airport hotel beat this?

Rated: Unbeatable! (unless reviewed by actual people)

Prie Ąžuolo, Juodkrantė

One building – two separate hotels. A relatively new concept for me, but seemingly a rather common thing in Lithuania. With another example of this business model being for instance the Vilnius Airport Hotel in the times of Skrydis/Adelita. Anyhow, in Juodkrantė you can chose between the rather luxurious Azuolynas hotel (meaning something along the lines of “oak forest”), or the less expensive and not quite as luxurious Prie Ąžuolo (meaning something like “by the oak”). Both located in the same building.




Prie Ąžuolo headquarters

So at a reduced price, you get to experience what it is like to be a second rate guest. Access to the pool, breakfast table and other hotel facilities are of course available if you pay extra, but you still feel like a bit of an intruder when you hang around the lounge area without being a “proper” guest.

 

Hotel standards aside, this is the real reason why most people visit Juodkrantė.

Then again, who needs the hotel lounge? Prie Ąžuolo has their own outdoor lounge, where visitors can meet over a cold beer and barbecue well into the small hours of the night. This is also where you will be asked to wait if your room is not ready in time. We arrived at three, only to find that our Byelorussian predecessors were still in the shower. This meant waiting outside in the hot sun for an hour, where the lack of bathrooms (not belonging to Azuolynas) soon became apparent.

 

 

The Prie Ąžuolo lounge area. THE place to be in the eventings.
There is even something for the children. 

 

We were eventually invited inn, only to be directed to the upstairs bedroom of the apartment while the staff finished cleaning the downstairs rooms. When we finally could start unpacking, hours after the room was supposed to be ready, we heard a strange sound from the bathroom. This turned out to be the ceiling light, breaking away from the (plastic) ceiling.

 

Why make fuzz about such trifles?

 

But the again, you get what you pay for and such things are to be expected in this price range. The staff was polite enough and fixed the lights right away, the rooms were nice and spacious and the location is great. The beach is a short walk away and there are shops and restaurants just around the corner. The TV of course has no western channels. All in all, not a bad option. Particularly if you are visiting with small children, since the apartments have spacious bathrooms with both a washing machine and dryer.

Rating: Recommended

 

Amberton Hotel, Klaipeda

A beautiful and stylish hotel, but other than that this place has very little going for it. In all fairness I did only spend a single night in the hotel, but on the other hand I did get to acquaint myself with no less than three rooms. This was due to the fact that the drains were clogged in the first two rooms I was given. On his third attempt, the desk clerk finally managed to find me a room with a functioning bathroom. This bathroom did however for some reason have a window connecting the bedroom and bathroom, which was kind of a cool interior detail but also slightly inappropriate.

 

The standard of the hotel was high, but then again so was the price. At such rates, one should expect to find some service included, and when a guest comes to the reception with shampoo in his hair asking to change rooms for the second time because of clogged drains – the clerk should wipe the “why-are-you-making-a-fuzz-about-this-trifle-look” off his face. Such attitudes are acceptable in hotels charging 100 Litas pr. night, but not in hotels with western prices. The food and rooms were ok, but the service was lousy. For some reason the staff seemed to view visitors as more of a disturbing element.

Rated: Rip off!

 

I should have squatted on this nearby boat instead.
At least the the drains would not have been a problem.

 

Kaunas apartments

As the name indicates, this is a company based in Kaunas. They have a variety of apartments, mostly in the center of the city. Prices are not bad, although not really a bargain, and representatives from the company are usually easy to get hold if you need them. They also offer to pick you up at the airport (for slightly more than it would cost to rent a taxi), and I strongly recommend to go for this option. If you do, you will be met in the airport by a man holding a cardboard sign with your name on it. For those of us who have only seen such things in the movies, this can be an experience in itself. Not to mention the following small talk with the driver, whose English skills might not extend far beyond “okay, okay”.

 



Laisves avenue, Kaunas

 

The apartments are nice and most of them are located in the very center of the city. The buildings they are in, on the other hand, often look quite terrible. One should be prepared for balconies that look like they are about to collapse, backyards smelling of urine, and shabby looking men going through dumpsters. Then again, that`s life in the city center. If you want to shield yourself from such things, you had better seek refuge in a hotel. If on the other hand you would like to experience what it is like to live in a standard apartment in the heart of Kaunas, such things are part of the package. Along with other realities of everyday life, like for instance:

-          The fact that you are not supposed to flush toilet paper in the city (yes, that is indeed what the bucket is for)

-          The fact that heating is poor in winter, and that rooms can be cold as hell

-          The fact that both water pressure and hot water temperature can be very poor. Sometimes to the extent that taking a shower can give the feeling of being urinated upon by a person with a mild prostate problem. In a cold room.

 

 

Kaunas Apartments

 

Well, at least it is authentic. And all the major attractions of the city are within walking distance.

Rated: #3 “A decent alternative”



Kaunas

 

 

 

 

Vilnius Airport Hotel

When exiting the airport you will find my favorite Lithuanian hotel just across the street: “The Hotel formerly known as Skrydis”. Currently named AirInn. Although commonly trashed by reviewers, I find that this place offers all you really need. Superb location, cheap rooms, food and drink, and an overnight stay that becomes memorable.

 

Picture shamelessly borrowed from tripadvisor.com

 

In this case, the experience is that of staying in a soviet style hotel. A functionalistic concrete building erected to serve a useful purpose – to give decent shelter to travelers. The hotel has no swimming pool, spa area, meditation garden, fitness center with personal trainers, rotating restaurants or in house stylists. If it does, then these facilities are well hidden. Instead, it offers such things as:

-          TV with no western channels and no batteries in the remote control

-          Empty minibar (even before you arrive)

-          Vending machine with instant coffee so bad it almost makes you feel sorry for the manufacturer

-          A breakfast so modest that you suspect the staff of being concerned about your weight

-          Rooms that remind you of your old student dorm – with authentic furniture

-          Bathrooms so small that you can reach almost any surface in the room while seated on the toilet

-          Soviet elevators that sometimes remind you of how fragile life really is, and how it all can be over in an instant.

-          Ridiculously long preparation time for food in the restaurant (no, the chef has not suffered a personal tragedy – he is just waiting for your Chicken Kiev to defrost)

-          All the rustic details, like a dry wall screw, sticking up from the carpet in the middle of the room. Apparently placed there for no other reason than to snag your socks as you pass by.

 

View and rustic details from Skrydis (now AirInn)

 

So, nothing is new and nothing is perfect. Perhaps that is why this hotel makes me feel at home. And besides, 100 Litas pr night and directly opposed to the airport? What’s not to like?

Rating: #1 Money well spent!