Dining on canned food in Lithuania

As I am a passionate consumer of canned goods, I always check out what food items are available in preserved form in the countries that I visit. It can give you a bit of a rare insight into the national character to see what people regard as worth while to put into a can. And even more – what they are willing to eat from a can.

This time, while visiting Lithuania, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a real gem. Both in terms of “the canned culinary experience”, and in terms of cultural insight. And although it is not actually produced in Lithuania, it is sold here. Ladies and (for the most part, I guess) gentlemen – I give you: The magnificent “outdoor kitchen” line. A complete collection of conserves for all your needs.

#1 The drivers can (Vairuotojų užkandis)

The fat is still liquid and the whole things is very much recognizable as pig. The texture is very nice, with good bite resistance. Not too salty, and with a very good taste of pig’s fat. I would not be surprised if this is a Lithuanian favourite. If you are on a diet, you can always strain the fat. And even if you don`t – this is still healthier than Snickers for lunch 

But if you have women around – throw the can out after eating. The smell may bring back happy memories for you, but it may not have the same effect on everybody. On the other hand, at just above 500 calories, and with the edges of your mouth dripping with liquid fat – What’s not to like? A driver could do much worse. 

But seriously, get rid of the can as soon as you can – the smell will drive you crazy. It even leaves a mark on your urine for at least 24 hours. That unmistakable smell of pig’s fat.

#2 The bicyclist can (Dviratininko enegija)

Well, you know you have eaten at least after this meal. The long fibres stuck to your teeth are a constant reminder of that. Didn`t like it much, and the texture is largely to blame.

Completely unremarkable and quite tasteless. I would recommend adding some boiled peas and such, for the texture. Rather shitty when compared to the first can, even though the meat was probably better. Not much more to say, really. Perhaps bicyclists are easier to please than motorists?

#3 The builder can (Statybininko stiprumas)

By far the best tasting one yet. Lots of liquid fat that you can leave in the can, if you want to. Good texture. It is clear that they have saved their top product for their number one target group. This is an absolutely acceptable meal for a builder – in combination with a good beverage. This product can keep you well-nourished for your entire visit to Lithuania. A saturating and yet gentle taste, truly worthy of a man. And if you are famished, you can always drink the liquid fat. At only a very modest number of calories per 100g, you can actually afford to. 

And as a general rule – it is always a good sign when the can sprays a little fat on you when opening – just to say hello 

#4 Dinner by the water (Vakariene prie vandens)

After coming up with such an unusually poetic title, you would imagine they would take the trouble to at least mince and compress the meat a bit. But that aside, the taste was very nice. Why it had to be swimming in fat, I do not know but there is probably a very good Latvian reason for that. 

Seriously, it looks a bit like that vat of aligator Food I saw in a James Bond Movie 

Anyway, this is one of the best in the range, and definitely the best if you are looking for a light snack. Despite the fact that it was bordering on chicken soup. Who decided that chicken was best suited for water activities I do nok know, but this can will anyway keep you at least four hours away from starvation if you are out paddling or fishing, or doing any other traditional form of water activity. Coming in at second best, this this can is as fresh as if it was laid down the same morning. And it is thereby a true example of the superiority of conserves when it comes to food preservation.

Real men eat to defeat hunger. At least those real men that are content with getting their meal from a can. And the manufacturers behind this line seem to have achieved this insight. They anyway seem to very much cater to those men, by labelling each can with a specific male activity. Like driving or building. You won’t find any cans saying:

“For when writing your PhD has kept you up all night” – The doctors delight

“For when you just can`t eat another foile gras” – the Francophiles friend

“For when square roots have gotten the better of you” – the mathematicians friend

In fact, the world of conserved food still has a long way to go, and sadly this line of products is only too politically correct. It doesn`t cover some of the other situations in which a man needs a readymade and unpretentious meal. Such situations could be:

“Hung over without helpful women around” – The drunkards relief

“Forgot to shop in time and has empty fridge” – The disorganized man’s best friend

“Has broken fridge and no money to buy a new one” – The poor man’s pillar

“Traveling, but does not want to overcomplicate eating arrangements” – The globetrotters gold

With a few such additions, this genius line of canned goods will be complete. It will cover all the situations in which a man will have to provide food for himself. And as long as the manufacturers make sure that long time use does not causes malnutrition (at least not if combined with beer and vodka) we are well on our way to my futuristic vision – the grocery shop for MEN. A shop that only stocks the 100 products that you really need. Including your 10 basic canned meals, and your 20 different brands of vodka.

Yes, we CAN!

Lithuanian herring dishes – a simple pleasure in a complicated world

Herring is one of the best choices when eating in Lithuanian restaurants. It is quick to prepare, inexpensive, and also healthier than most other things on the menu. Perfect for the inpatient tourist on a budget with a bad conscience for having eaten too many cepelinai.

Herring - one of the lighter options on the Lithuanian menu of traditional foods

It might strike you as odd that there is such a strong herring tradition in Lithuania, despite the fact that this is not a nation with strong fishing traditions, but the quality of the herring dishes here can sometimes be surprisingly high. Ironically enough, my home country is one of the largest exporters of herring in Europe, yet we have hardly any restaurants that even put it on the menu.

Herring is a common item on Lithuanian menus, but rather unusual in many other countries

The fish itself is rather unremarkable. It is either good or bad, and only makes a difference if it is bad. Most of the herring arrives at the restaurant salted in brine, and is served pretty much “as is” after being watered out a bit. This makes it almost undistinguishable from the herring that you can get in grocery shops, but as mentioned – it is not the fish itself that makes the herring dishes great. The magic lies in the composition.

A rather unremarkable example that only covers the basics

- herring, onion, potatoes and sour cream

“What goes well with herring?”. This is perhaps a matter of individual preferences, but I think the best universal answer is “Lots of things!”. The most important thing is that the accessories make the herring into a complete meal. I personally think the list should include:

·         Sour cream (big lump, high fat)

·         Boiled potatoes (not fried)

·         Boiled beetroot (diced)

·         Green peas (not Cold)

·         Red and yellow onion slices

·         Tomatoes (sprinkled lightly with salt and olive oil)

·         Cucumbers (both raw and pickled)

·         Sprinkled with scallions and dill

Some restaurants also add such things as cabbage, diced apples, sauerkraut, hemp seeds or even mayonnaise and cheese. Some of which go just fine with herring individually, but in my opinion, they just don`t fit in the bigger picture.

Herring served with cheese, mayonnaise and dice apples

The amount of herring should be proportionated to the accessories, and together they should fill the plate. The whole idea should be that you make something very humble and make it the centrepiece of a beautiful lunch of dinner by choosing good accessories and arranging everything nicely on a plate. Not all restaurants manage to do that.

One of the most successful herring combinations I have encountered to date.

 Served in Kursmariu Vila in Pervalka on the Curonian spit.

The normal Version includes green peas, and is usually much better arranged

In addition, many restaurants are not aware of how quickly seafood goes bad if it is left opened, so I am usually reluctant to eat such things as crabs of oysters in the middle of the plains – far away from the nearest oyster beds. With herring, you at least know that the fish was always preserved in a state that will take an almost deliberately irresponsible chef ta make it go bad before it reaches your table. You are in fact far more likely to be poisoned because the same chef didn`t clean the vegetables properly. If you are eating a clam soup in a remote part of Aukstatia – your odds are a bit different.   

A modest herring plate - usually available at an equally modest price

Final tip: If the herring is expensive while most other things on the menu seem cheap, chances are that the plate will be lavish. In comparason to the standard herring plate, that is. 

Ideally - it should look something like this

Final challenge: If you are feeling adventurous - there are places in Samogitia where they serve some kind of locally infamous herring soup. This soup bears the mark of all great and unusual traditional -  It is either loved or loathed. You either like it or you don`t. And for most people it is perhaps an acquired taste, but probably not a taste acquired through eating the actual soup itself. Find it, before it finds you.

The herring Soup Challenge is the one on the top - Šmakals

Final comment: Something is definitely wrong with the world when a Norwegian had to travel to Lithuania to get his first decent plate herring. But who knows – Lithuanians might in time bow in awe to our potato dishes and make the irony complete.

Since I will og on trying various herring dishes, I will just simply post pictures of them here as I og along:

I mean, it`s herring and all. And a good meal, but where are the estethics?

Same restaurant, same dish - but this is the lavish version. They skip the sour cream, 

add plenty of mayonaise and cheese and put the boiled potatoes in the pot. Horrible!

Whoever came up with these two dishes...has no love for herring, thats for sure

Miesto Sodas herring. Very nice to look at, with some nicely made potatoes, 

but still not the best.What happened to the onions and peas? 

Fast food in Lithuania

Well, fast food is not really all that popular in Lithuania yet. I guess that is why lithuanians still are the skinniest people in Europe, although that is likely to change in the years to come. Thanks in part, I am sure, to the two competing fast food chains offering real western food in Lithuania: The well-known McDonald’s and the somewhat less known Hesburger.




 The iconic Big Mac - a symbol of successful life?

McDonalds, as we know are pretty much similar all over the world, and probably for good reason. Repetativeness and familiar surroundings represent a feeling of security, and that is just the thing that many western travelers need when visiting dangerous Lithuania.



McDonalds in Kaunas

But the tourists are not alone at McDonalds. For some reason, a growing number of lithuanians also do seem to love this place. Those with money, that is. Even though there is better food available in ordinary restaurants, and certainly more affordable fast food to be found, they still flock to McDonalds. The only imaginable reason I can think of is that it has something to do with the brand itself and the fact that it is american. Parallels can be drawn to the fact that many lithuanians also buy poor quality western booze, despite there being top quality Lithuanian vodka on sale for half the price. It`s probably some kind of image thing.



Hesburger in Kaunas

 

However, if you are not insecure with regards to your image, you should head on over to Hesburger. For example to the Hesburger place on Laisves avenue, where you will get a demonstration of fast food efficiency that will overshadow most things you have seen at McDonalds. The sturdy lady at the counter (provided she`s still there of course) will show how a serious woman raised under soviet rule can serve you a burger with military precision. Sadly, she does not speak English, and has no patience for your puny attempts to order in lithuanian, but all you have to do is approach the counter and shout: “ENGLISH MENUE!", point quickly at the burger you want – and you will have it in your hand before your blood pressure reaches normal again. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer this over long lines and fake smiles.




Two cheese burger meals for under 4 Euros at Hesburger

As for lithuanians being the skinniest people in Europe - just give it some time. It seems to me that children in Lithuania become chubbier every year, so I guess western fast food will fatten even this country in the end. But it might be worth remembering that back when lithuanians were the skinniest people in Europe, everyone was still stuffing themselves with meat, potaotes and deep fried čeburėkai. Has anyone guessed the secret ingredient of the fast food industry yet?

For more Pictures of fast food in Lithuania: http://lithuaniainpictures.blogspot.no/2015/07/fast-food-in-lithuania.html 

Smoked eel

Although the European eel is now nearing extinction, and despite the fact that it has been protected in many countries, one can still purchase smoked eel freely in Lithuania. Predominantly around the Curonian lagoon. This large shallow lagoon with its murky water is an ideal habitat for the eels, and even though there are large colonies of cormorants nearby, the eels still seem to thrive. Strangely enough, the cormorants are protected, while the eels are not. In Norway, it is in fact the other way around. At least at present.

 

Visiting the deliciously endangered eel of the Curonian lagoon

 

 As a consequence, sampling some smoked eel when visiting the area around the Curonian lagoon must almost be considered obligatory. At least for those of us who can`t get it at home.  Hot smoking the fish was traditionally the natural way of preserving the fish in this area, since both the climate and other factors made other ways of conservation difficult. Hot smoking does however agree nicely with the eel, and is the preferred way of preparing this fish in large parts of the world.

 

 



It doesn`t need to be more complicated than this

Although eel can be served as a part of an elaborate dinner, with lots of trimmings, I would recommend just buying a smoked eel from one of the vendors along the coast. It tastes great with just some tomatoes, cucumbers and bread on the side. According to Norwegian know-it-alls, one should look for an eel without a flat nose, since they are said to be the tastiest.

 



A fair sized eel with a cute little nose  

 

Good eels can be purchased straight from the manufacturers, with prices starting from about 80 Litas and ranging up to about 150 Litas for the largest eels. Many tourists tend to think that “the bigger the better”, but this is not necessarily true. First of all, the fish does not necessarily get better with age, and second of all, one should take in to consideration that eel is rather filling. There are not many healthy people around that are capable of eating a meter of eel, and those who do rarely feel very healthy afterwards. I would recommend an eel of about 50 cm, and sharing it with friends of family.