Lithuanian inventions – top ten things invented by Lithuanians

More or less every nation on earth can claim ownership to one or more inventions that have gone down in history. The Chinese invented gunpowder, the Germans invented the printing press, the Americans invented the atomic bomb, and the Scottish invented the deep-fried mars bar. Such inventions can help shape the national identity, particularly in smaller countries. Regardless of however trivial the invention might be. Just ask the Norwegians – proud providers of both the cheese slicer and the modern hand grenade - and not to mention...the paperclip!

But what do Lithuanians have to brag about when it comes to inventions and innovations? My superficial investigations have so far yielded this top-ten list:

#10: Vodka

One of the earliest inventions on this list, and perhaps also one that has played a part in the creation of some of the later inventions. Either way, it seems clear that Lithuanians invented some kind of primitive vodka a long time before anyone else, even though this is a somewhat disputed fact. But then again, whenever vodka is involved – it is not uncommon that facts become disputed.

An eternal topic - who invented vodka. Original source here.

#9: The Euthanasia coaster

In 2010, Julijonas Urbonas became the first person in the world to design a rollercoaster that would be guaranteed to kill all its passengers without harming the rollercoaster itself. Death would be not only relatively quick, but also painless and perhaps even a bit euphoric. One could suspect that such a seemingly useless device could only be thought of while under heavy influence of Lithuanian invention #10, but it seems that other people have found the concept fascinating as well. They have at least bothered to include it in both films, music and books. Then again – perhaps they were drinking too.

If your invention for some reason lacks practical purpose,
you can always call it art. Original source here.

#8: The office breathalyser

Sometimes invention can be no more than to put two already existing items together in a combination nobody has thought of before. Like for instance an electric door lock and a breathalyser, which would make the original result of an office door lock that manages to keep out employees that have a blood alcohol level of over a certain limit. It can be argued that invention by combination is easy, but if that was the case – why didn`t anyone think of this earlier?  Who knows, maybe this combination just required a Lithuanian mindset. And the same might be said for this inventions` soon-to-come counterpart: The device to fool the office breathalyser

The office breathalyser. I guess it could even be modified to work both ways -
if you for some reason want to keep sober people out. Original source here.

#7: Play pants

Basically, these are jeans with zippers at the bottoms of the front pockets, which allow for easy access to the genitals in public without people noticing. Which I am sure solves plenty of everyday problems for some people. The concealment is probably the core of the innovation here, since it is my clear perception that most people who reach for their own genitals with some motivation usually manage to find them regardless of obstacles. Unless of course they are under heavy influence of Lithuanian invention #10.

Allegedly, the idea came to the inventor after he found a hole in one of his own pockets, and eventually concluded that this actually suited his current needs and could make quite a handy feature in ordinary jeans. So, as I understand, it was sort of like Isaac Newton with his apples or an Archimedes in the bathtub type moment.

Play pants - one man had a need, and took matters into his own hands.
Original source here.

#6: The bio-reactive label

This is basically an alternative way of telling consumers whether food products are expired or not. Ever since Al Capone invented the written expiration date (yes, he actually did), this method has worked out well for most of us. However, if you are unable to read (due to blindness, illiteracy, or for that matter due to exaggerated consumption of Lithuanian invention #10) you are somewhat at a loss. At least, you used to be, before Solveiga Pakskaite invented the gelatine based “bump mark”. She also gets points for having a Lithuanized Norwegian name. Innovation clearly runs in the family in this case.

The bump mark. Original source here.

#5: The Reuben Sandwich

This is some hot rye bread sandwich that the Americans hold in high esteem. And for any person of even partial Lithuanian decent to create something that Americans hold in high esteem is quite an achievement in itself, as many a Lithuanian migrant workers to America will tell you. Particularly when the product in question is as simple as a couple of slices of bread with swiss cheese, meat, sauerkraut and dressing. One might argue that any idiot could come up with such a thing, but this particular idiot was Lithuanian. Sort of. His name Reuben Kulakofsky. Americans might react to this invention being ranked as low as #5, but Kulakofskys claim to it is after all disputed.

The Reuben - one of the great american sanwiches. Original source here.

#4: Vilnius photometric system

Out of more than 200 photometric systems currently available, it seems the Vilnius system is among the better ones. At least if you are in the business of categorizing stars. Not Hollywood type stars like the Kardashians, but rather “those distant things in the universe” type stars. Not quite sure how it works, but like so many other things we don`t understand, we can just assume it is important. Pity it can`t be used to categorize real stars, though.

Space, with its multitude of stars, can be a real pain to cathegorize.
At least without a decent photometric system. Original source here.

#3: The orbital tube welding head

Anyone who has tried to make a perfect 360-degree orbital weld will know that this is a pain in the ass. Luckily this can now be an automated process, in part thanks to Gasparas Kazlauskas. He invented the orbital tube welding head, as I am sure most people are aware, and thereby helped construct the radioisotope thermoelectric generators on NASAs spaceflights Apollo 12, 14, 15, 16, and 17. As a consequence, he made a name for himself in international welding history, alongside such people as Nikolai Nikolaevich Benardos and Russell Meredith. For his achievements, he was awarded the prestigious AIRCO welding award in both 1972 and 1973.

The welding device that links Lithuania to the moon landings. Original source here.

#2: The non-invasive cranial pressure meter

If you were to have your intracranial pressure measured, wouldn`t it be preferable do to it in a non-invasive way? I for one prefer this method to the earlier ones. Hard to find anything silly to say about this. A good piece of equipment and a medical milestone that will help save many human lives in the future. Brought to you by Arminas Ragauskas, Gediminas Daubaris and Algis Dziugys from the Health Telematics Science Institute at Kaunas University of Technology.

Arminas Ragauskas - hard at work measuring cranial pressure in a non-intrusive way.
 Original source here.

#1:  The rouble

Although most commonly associated with the lather periods of Russian or Soviet domination in the area, the rouble can infact be traced back about 1000 years in Lithuania. This was of course in the form of a primitive currency without inscriptions, but the very word rouble is said to have Lithuanian roots. The reason for that is claimed to be that the silver bars known as roubles and used for currency were melted and cut in Lithuania. The silver allegedly came from Arabic sources.

Although the first actual rouble coins were Russian (as late as 1654), it seems clear from an archeological standpoint that roubles originated from within the territory of Lithuania.

This brings us to a somewhat surprising conclusion: it seems that two of the things that most people associate with Russians – vodka and roubles – actually were invented by the Lithuanians. On the other hand – perhaps the Russians are the actual inventors of Dollars and Hamburgers?

The rouble - in its original form. Original source here.

So, to the best of my knowledge – these are the ten most famous inventions by people originating from Lithuania. Feel free to submit any candidates that have been left out in the comments.